Gripping Tales of Modern Fatherhood 2 | Citywrigglers

Mysteries That Will Remain Forever Unsolved

Questions arising from my journey to bed the other night:

1. Why are my pajamas wet?

2. Why is there a melted lemonade Popsicle under the toilet?

3. Why is there a frying pan in my bed?

Modern fathers will encounter such mysteries daily. Whodunits that will never be solved. Crimes for whose motives will never be truly understood.

I quickly learned that attempting to get to the bottom of such matters is an exercise in futility. The chief suspects are masters of deception and obfuscation. They are resistant to all attempts at interrogation and are never without an alibi.

They will claim no knowledge ? blame siblings and family pets ? or cite the involvement of fairies. Sometimes all of the above.

Hercule Poirot would have no chance.

One morning we awoke to find stealthy persons unknown had got into the baking and spread bits of broken up muffin all through the house. Suspicions immediately fell upon our then three year-old. However, according to her account of proceedings, it was a ?magic caterpillar? that had carried out the dastardly act. She had seen it with her own eyes! Or, it could have been her sister ? in fact it was! And the cat too! ????. Can I watch Dora now?

My experience is that the madness of children can never truly be understood. Best not to try to make sense of the lunacy to which you will daily be subjected. Modern fathers should take more of a detached academic interest. Rather than crime-busting detectives, we should think of ourselves more as social anthropologists. Picking through the detritus of daily customs and rituals for insights into a mysterious and exotic culture so strange it can never fully be comprehended.

(Photo care of?Ilker?and licensed under Creative Commons license 2.0.)

?

?

?

Source: http://www.citywrigglers.co.nz/?p=3877

aldon smith friday night lights nick santino bruce arians the misfits hook troy